Why
Some People Quit And Some People NEVER Give Up
By Tom Venuto, CSCS, NSCA-CPT
Throughout
my 18 years in the fitness industry as a trainer, nutrition
consultant and motivational coach, I have noticed that
some people who start a nutrition and exercise program
give up very easily after hitting the first obstacle they
encounter. If they feel the slightest bit of discouragement
or frustration, they will abandon even their biggest goals
and dreams.
On the other
hand, I noticed that some people simply NEVER give up.
They have ferocious persistence and they never let go
of their goals. These people are like the bulldog that
refuses to release its teeth-hold on a bone. The harder
you try to pull the bone out of his mouth, the harder
the dog chomps down with a vice-like grip.
What's the
difference between these two types of people? Psychologists
say there is an answer.
An extremely
important guideline for achieving fitness success is the
concept that, "There is no failure; only feedback.
You don't "fail", you only get results."
This is a foundational
principle from the field of Neuro Linguistic Programming
(NLP), and the first time I ever heard it was from peak
performance expert Anthony Robbins back in the late 1980's.
It's a principle that stuck with me ever since, because
it's a very, very powerful shift in mindset.
A lot of people
will second-guess themselves and they'll bail out and
quit, just because what they try at first doesn't work.
They consider it a permanent failure, but all they need
is a little attitude change, a mindset change, or what
we call a "reframe."
Instead of
saying, "This is failure" they can say to themselves,
"I produced a result" and "This is only
temporary." This change in perspective is going to
change the way that they feel and how they mentally process
and explain the experience. It turns into a learning opportunity
and valuable feedback for a course correction instead
of a failure, and that drives continued action and forward
movement.
It's all about
your results and your interpretation of those results
Dr Martin Seligman,
a professor of psychology at the University of Pennsylvania,
did some incredible research on this subject and wrote
about it in his book, Learned Optimism. Dr. Seligman noticed
that the difference between people who give up and people
who persist and never quit is what he referred to as "explanatory
style." He said that explanatory style is the way
we explain or interpret bad events or failures.
People who
habitually give up have an explanatory style of permanence.
For example, they hit a plateau in their progress and
explain it by saying, "diets never work" or
"I have bad genetics so I'll always be fat."
These explanations imply permanence.
Other people
hit the same plateaus and encounter the same challenges,
but explain them differently. They say things such as,
"I ate too many cheat meals this week," or "I
haven't found the right diet for my body type yet."
These explanations of the results imply being temporary.
People who
see negative results as permanent failure are the ones
who give up easily and often generalize their "failure"
into other areas of their lives and even into their own
sense of self. It's one thing to say, "I ate poorly
this past week because I was traveling," (a belief
about temporary behavior and environment), and to say,
"I am a fat person because of my genetics" (a
belief about identity with a sense of permanence). Remember,
body fat is a temporary condition, not a person!
People who
see challenges and obstacles as temporary and as valuable
learning experiences are the ones who never quit. If you
learn from your experiences, not repeating what didn't
work in the past, and if you choose to never quit, your
success is inevitable.
About
the Author:
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Tom Venuto is a lifetime
natural bodybuilder, an NSCA-certified personal
trainer (CPT), certified strength & conditioning
specialist (CSCS), and author of the #1 best-selling
e-book, "Burn
the Fat, Feed The Muscle. Tom has
written hundreds of articles and has been featured
in print magazines such as IRONMAN, Australian IRONMAN,
Natural Bodybuilding, Muscular Development, Exercise
for Men and Mens Exercise, as well as on hundreds
of websites worldwide.
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